Sometimes we all find someone or something in life that causes us stress and anxiety. Sometimes there are things that other people do or say that drive us crazy or that leave us shaking our heads, wondering what’s going on. Sometimes there are things that other people do or say that we look at and wonder why. And, if we’re honest, sometimes there are times where others wonder or say those things about us.

In all these human interactions we find ourselves venting and we find ourselves gossiping. But what is the difference? Is there a difference? The short answer is, yes. We all sometimes need help or advice in dealing with or handling others, especially when others frustrate or annoy us with their words, actions, or behaviors. We can’t keep, nor should we keep, everything bottled up inside of us. If we do that, the consequences can be disastrous.

Venting is one way of handling the frustrations of life and it can be very helpful. Gossiping, on the other hand, is a sin that we should be working to avoid. So, how do we tell the difference? First of all, venting is ultimately about the person doing the venting while the object of our gossiping is ultimately the person that we’re gossiping about. Venting is about us; we have negative feelings and concerns and we need to get them off our chest, we need to figure out how to best handle them. Venting is about getting to the bottom of the problem and solving it. When we’re venting we’re opening the problem, the difficulty with a person, to possible solutions and seeking advice from a trusted friend or advisor on how to best deal with everything. Gossiping, on the other hand, exists for its own sake. When we’re gossiping we’re more interested in building ourselves up, making ourselves look good or feel superior, and tearing the other person down.

So, we can tell the difference if we’re engaging in the helpful act of venting or the sinful act of gossiping, by asking ourselves what the object, the purpose, of our action is? Are we seeking honest advice, are we laying the problem out openly before someone else, without any biases, so we can figure out the best way to move forward? If that’s our intent, then we’re likely venting. But, if we’re more interested in tearing the other person down and not honestly and openly seeking advice, then we’ve fallen into the sin of gossip.